Blankie from Chatuchak Market.

At Anilao, Batangas

You found me balled up in someone else's tent, my hands clasped to my ears.

Hey, you said, shaking my shoulders. What happened to you? You disappeared.

I turned to you and said, I'm hearing everything.

What do you mean you're hearing everything?

I can hear all the voices, I said, from all the tents out there. They're talking all at once.

I said, They're all in my head. I said, I can't shut them out.

And then you laughed. Yes, that's what you did, you laughed.

You're being hypersensitive, you said. I wish I could have that feeling again.

Come on, you said. Let's put you back in your tent. This is Angela's, you know.

You helped me up and pulled me out. Outside, it was damp and whipping cold. Headlamps lit up a spot on the grass where the sloshed were passing tagay. Again, everybody's voices started boring into my ears, giving me an electric shock of noise. I scrambled for my flipflops, went into my shack, and slid into a sleeping bag.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of heavy rain.

The moment I saw my ex, I tapped the tricycle driver's arm to stop the vehicle. I stepped out the tryk on the Main Road, and immediately, I gave my ex a hug. That is, while she held on to her bag of laundry and the Nikon whatever model dangling in front her stomach.

Yes, HER. The ex. My ex-roommate Pia. We are, once again, reunited in the eyes of, err, the balut vendor.

Since I got here I have killed four mosquitoes, one striped cockroach, and one white bedbug. I love killing, yes sir, especially when there's martial arts involved. With speed and agility I whack them dead on the wall with my bare hands. Except for the cockroach, of course, as that would be disgusting. With that I used my newly bought oversized green flipflops, the cheap ones for the banyo.

After Pia and I met at the plaza, we walked down the beach going to Station 1, where I would be staying in a studio apartment with her. We took a short cut to the main road and then halfway through my old flipflops snapped (Damn unreliable Havaianas!). I had to walk barefoot the rest of the way. Hence, I bought a new pair of banyo flipflops. They hurt my feet too, and give me kalyo.

My nth home at Station 1 is a white box with three beds, a mini kitchen, and a bathroom. The previous tenant has left traces of his/her religious and oriental existence. On the one hand there's the bamboo crucifix by the kitchen window, and a framed portrait of Jesus and Mary on the wall near the air-conditioning. (Thank Zoidberg we have air-conditioning, but no hot water. Drats.)

On the other hand there's the framed black t-shirt hanging on the wall outside the bathroom. The size of the shirt must be XXXL, probably owned by a massively obese guy standing at about 6'2". Painted on the shirt is an amateur portrait of an earth-skinned Filipina, long-haired, oval-faced, flat-nosed, and thick-lipped. She has a drooping flower by her right ear, and appears to be wearing a wedding dress.

After typing the previous paragraph, I poked my head up the t-shirt and confirmed from its collar that it is sized XXXL. It was also bought from that Lonely Planet shop in Station 2. We can surmise that the previous tenants were a couple, a fat and sweaty foreign dude and a peanut-colored Pinay.

Outside the apartment are four dogs with pointed ears, sharp fangs, and rib cages bulging out their brown fur. They reek of disease and are spotted tocino-red with skin disease. They used to growl and flash all their teeth at me, but now we're all friends, one big happy family of dawgs in the hood. Every time I step out the house they stick their wet noses up my legs and sniff me 'til I'm out the gate. The mothers.

SO. Enough of the new apartment. I haven't found a new job yet but someone already approached me to work for him.XD Can't wait to sink in the heat and get a tan.

But it's bloody cold and windy in Boracay! The fuck.

As I write this, I am back on the island and have resumed my palaboy existence. After climbing Mt. Apo (Kidapawan-Kapatagan Trail) in Cotobato and Davao, I flew back to Manila to grab my stuff and then flew back here in Boracay. I don't particularly love love Boracay; I just particularly love love dragonboat.:D And YEHEAZ February is the start of dragonboat training! HELL YEAHEAH.

Going back to Mt. Apo--what happened in Mt. Apo?? Sad to say that Mt. Apo is the filthiest mountain I've seen in my four years of climbing. The mountain is abused, traversed by many, raped in multiple fashions (hence, it has so many deep, forked trenches after thousands of mountaineers and pilgrims have passed them by), and is now pregnant with garbage. It's not even peak season yet. During peak season (Mahal na Araw, which is in April) the mountain grows taller and fatter with trash and human droppings.

But just because Mt. Apo is the highest mountain in the country doesn't mean it's the most beautiful. Mt. Apo is nothing spectacular, that is, except for its ash-colored boulders, and vents farting clouds of sulfur. Wikipedia says it is home to one of the world's largest eagles (we saw none) and that it is abundant with durian (we saw none either). Despite all the negatives I just spewed about Mt. Apo, I am not discouraging you to climb it. All I'm saying is, Mt. Apo isn't the prettiest mountain there is but it's still worth the trouble after all.

Some shots of Mt. Apo and Samal Island, with a spattering of palaboy thoughts.

01. The Flight to Davao

It's funny how we're all just airplanes
Gazing through the window of our eyes
Leapfrogging from here to there
And not really getting anywhere.

02. Baby Slug

They sought the warmth of my tent, the baby slugs.
I picked one up and let it crawl around my hand.
It left loops of slime along its tracks.
Does it know where it's going?
Does it know what it's left behind?

03. Lake Venado

A cold January morning at Lake Venado
Four hours away from the loftiest clouds we can reach
With our toes still touching the ground.
Again, the waiting.

04. The Dead Lake

The dead crater with the dead lake
And a cliff that leads to death;
How more can it be dead?
Would you rather die here,
Or in a house, in a car,
In a parking lot, on the sidewalk,
In a hospital room?

05. Strangers

I met her once, and probably never will.
People come and go;
It makes no difference who they are.

06. Trail Sign

Such stones mark the right trail.
All trails lead back to civilization;
This one only made it shorter.
And less dangerous.

07. Bug

The power held at the tip of our finger
To crush this bug until it is no more
Is the same power that can shift mountains,
Shift horizons, and shift the spin of the sun
Until we are no more.

08. The Summit

After long hours of pain,
Cold, struggle, rain,
We reach the summit
And breathe in the clouds.
It's our bowl of soup
After a week of starvation.

09. Our Hut by the Beach

One word of advice, he said,
You might want to open up a bit.
One word of advice, I said,
You might want to shut up a bit.

10. Kapatagan Trail

At one point in history, bigass trees fell one by one
And made our discourse an obstacle course.
The trees were too soft and wet for furniture;
And so were they too slippery and brittle to make bridges.
They just lie there and sleep and dream
Waiting for human feet to trample them on,
Until they merge with the earth again.

11. Tricycle to Hagimit Falls

There still exists islands untouched by corrupt hands.
We see them through windows, in movies, books, magazines,
While we sit in the comforts of a dark, rattling can--
Our bodies: boxed, paralyzed, wan.

12. The Clouds

Malabo na ang lahat;
Pati ang langit malabo rin.
Pero maganda pa rin siyang pagmasdan,
Kahit sa isip mo lang panoorin.

I don't remember why we were here. Mindtwist and I slept under one of those trees.

College of Arts and Letters, my building. (Not really my building;
I don't own it, mind. I just used to mop here.XD)

Where I used to run. Photos taken two years ago using Mindtwist's Polaroid camera.

I still haven't processed my clearance and taken my diploma since graduation. I haven't got the time (but I do!) and I prolly don't care (and I don't!). Do we really really really have to do these things? Is the UP Police Squad (I don't know if there is such a thing) going to pick me up some day for not having cleared my records? And what do I do with the diploma? Make a hopping frog origami with it? Plaster it on a blank wall? Cut it into a mask, stick it on my face, and then let it absorb the oil and unclog my pores? What?

I'm leaving for Davao tomorrow and will be climbing the highest peak in the country. I don't know how I should feel about this, but I am not particularly bouncing with excitement; I am bouncing with apathy. I just missed the Mt. Napulak (Iloilo) climb with Dinagyang Festival sidetrip last weekend. I should've booked for Iloilo instead of Davao. :| I don't want to climb no effing Mt. Apo.

I am depressed I am leaving Manila again.

We don't know whose puppy this is. Kaira and I squatted
on the sidewalk and played with it this afternoon.

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