1. the hallway reeks of cat crap
2. the hallway reeks of cat crap sprayed over with various colognes and perfumes which worsen the smell
3. shower knobs come off
4. and clang on the floor like frying pans
5. shower knobs come off when you have soap in your eyes
6. you hear bouncing shower knobs all the way to your room which is a mile away
7. flea-infested cat that climbs and sits on your table in the canteen and stares at you in bored apathy while you protect your food with one hand and shoo the feline with the other
8. cretins who don't flush after crapping
9. socially inept roommates who make up for their social ineptness by chatting all night with other socially inept losers
10. out of the eight faucets in the bathroom, only a random three work every day
11. the fact that you have to try five faucets before you find one that actually works
12. roommates who borrow books and return them dismayed, disappointed, after reading parcels of cynicism, apathy, black humor, and satire which they fail to comprehend
13. nobody interesting enough to talk with
14. food that taste like overboiled rubber slippers
15. smothering your food with ketchup or toyo to hide the taste of overboiled rubber slippers
16. immortal boogers on bathroom walls
17. queuing for the shower
18. queuing before a shower cubicle for hours when it has no occupant
19. the scowling fat mopwoman
20. roommate who snores like a dead drunk scowling fat mopwoman
21. the fact that nobody farts
22. the fact that nobody farts but me
23. the fact that nobody farts loudly and drives off everybody else but me
24. everybody is ugly, charmless, and undeniably unfuckable
25. sporadic blackouts
26. sporadic blackouts at the slightest rain shower
27. creepy hallways lit by orange emergency lights during sporadic blackouts
28. dilapidated closets filled with graffiti, stickers, and names of the previous occupants with dates on
29. "this used to be my locker!" fuck you who cares
30. "KATHY '89" admit that nobody cares you exist
31. "KATHY '89" admit that nobody cared for twenty-one years
32. "i have no room for sadness" admit that you are a depressed nobody contemplating suicide
33. fire exits that are padlocked half the time
34. fire exits with shattered windows where cats can sneak into and crap in the hallway
35. idiots who unwittingly step on the cat crap and spread cat crap footprints on the entire length of the hallway
36. windows that haven't been cleaned in ten years
37. bed bunks that sink at the center
38. roommates who sleep with exposed underboobs (the underside of their breasts) and underwear and with a hand poised at their crotch
39. the fact that you use pail and tabo to take a bath when the shower is working
40. regurgitating toilets
41. toilets that don't flush
42. toilets that don't flush when you have the longest, fattest, blackest turd
43. and someone is next in line
44. people who go to class with the clothes they slept with on
45. people who go to their class in pajamas
46. there is not a single curtain in the entire building
47. black walls that used to be white
48. the freaky empty basement that looks like a portal to an underworld exclusively inhabited by evil fat mopwomen
49. unnerving clumps of hair that choke drains
50. Jesus thumpers having prayer meetings at the function hall
51. sigfuckingsheets
52. the election of hyperactive overenthusiastic dorm officers whom you just want to punch in the face
53. freshies who make rapport by turning the conversation into an interview
54. everybody clapping and hooting in the mess hall when someone drops anything metallic
55. security she-guards who look like clones of each other
56. the fact that we have macho lesbian canteen personnel
57. the fact that we have macho lesbian canteen personnel who pretend to be women
58. girls who shriek standing on their beds and panicking over an innocuous cockroach
59. girls who shriek standing on their beds while aimlessly hurling their slippers at the innocuous cockroach
60. girls who shriek at a cockroach like they've just seen a man-eating humongous cockroach
61. the slow internet connection
62. because everybody else is watching stupid videos of gibbons making out
63. they (refer to #57) don't serve enough rice
64. they (refer to #57) don't serve enough viand/ulam
65. lizards that drop randomly from the ceiling
66. lizards that drop dead from the ceiling
67. the girl who leaves tissue on top of the toilet tank with yellow urine blotches on it
68. the note that says, "hindi dito ang trashcan k?" and points an arrow to the amassed tissue paper with yellow urine blotches
69. the fact that this girl is now an applicant at UP Writers Club
70. ten-year-old blackened mattress heavy with legions of dead bedbugs
71. the psychomachofugly dishwasher dude who stares at my breasts and struts in front of me during breakfast with his checkered apron on
72. the psychomachofugly dishwasher dude who incessantly tries to establish eye contact and incessantly fails
73. the fact that the dorm is a ten-minute walking distance away from class
74. the fact that I have to walk ten minutes to class
75. the fact that I have ten more minutes to walk back to the dorm
76. the fact that I have nine classes to walk for every week
77. idiots who waste their energy howling and hooting when the lights come back on only to waste the rest of their life on Facebook
78. I can't go out to pee at the wee hours because of the desolate and starkly nightmarish hallway going to the bathroom
79. safetyholics who padlock their luggage and cabinets and everything
80. safetyholics who leave the room locked when I'm out butt-naked and keyless in the bathroom
81. morons who think they have ESP and can sense other supernatural morons
82. MTV freakazoids who play Charice's Pyramid at full volume
83. MTV freakazoids who play Charice's Pyramid at full volume on repeat mode
84. waking up from the sound of some insensitive dipshit slamming the door
85. and never getting back to sleep
86. proliferation of ghastly videos like Legally Blond Musical
87. and letting my roommate force me to watch it
88. while she says "I swear you won't regret it!" and I did
89. drama queens crying loud enough for everybody to hear
90. drama queens crying over some stupid brainless asshole who left them for some other stupid brainless girl
91. roommates who kneel and pray to a grimy wall
92. brownish pantyliners left in shower cubicles
93. bloody napkins
94. shampoo sachets
95. wet underclothes hanging at bathroom windows and blocking the sunlight
96. pseudofrench intellectuals who chirp "Oui!" every time you call their name
97. the creepy full-length mirror before the stairs
98. self-conscious ducklings who constantly inspect their ugly reflections at the creepy full-length mirror like its going to change anything
99. having to transfer brandy into a bottle of Green Leaf Iced Tea just to get a drink
100. curfew at ten fucking pm which is still broad fucking daylight
101. the fact that it took me 101 reasons to convince myself to bounce my butt out this dorm

Word Up

tine
23.07.10 - 14:14

get outta there!!

then again maybe you could stay long enough to write a story about it.XD

Dana, ex-dormer
23.07.10 - 20:30

HA. HA. HA.

ef
26.07.10 - 23:31

sa flat ko nlng kasi ayaw mo nmn one week pag negative eh di wag :)

i mis u

Wendy
29.07.10 - 01:36

Hello tobey :-) dumadalaw lang

sub
31.07.10 - 14:14

hahaha! parang nainggit ako at gusto ko rin gumawa ng sarili kong version ne'to! :lol:

butt
05.08.10 - 08:52

lets bounce each othersbutt :)

arch
05.08.10 - 14:58

wow, nosebleed :-)

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