My 400th blog entry :p

I was all NGARAG at the second floor of McDo at Philcoa, cramming for my finals tomorrow strenuously digesting Adrew Heywood for nearly three hours. I haven't touched my food. Haven't sipped my soda. Or laid eyes on anyone or anything other than the stale printed impressions on my anathematized book. Page after page my retinae darted left and right perpetually synthesizing one paragraph after another devouring the concepts, ideologies, approaches, political systems--bicameralism, parliament, political structure, bill of rights, social movements, supernationalism, imperialism, dictatorship, elitism, et cetera--up my brain as fast as I can when suddenly some boorish uncivilized chimpanzee passed me by jabbing my chair that fired me berserk. I glowered at the blunderhead steam flaring out my nose upon realizing it's that same jerk who sideswiped my shoulder on my way to the bloody food chain a few hours ago. He gave me that same unapologetic presumptuous stare, without remorse, without guilt, the corners of his mouth curling into contempt. His ruffian eyes swept the concepts in my head into a wrangle of unintelligible charivari leaving me unutterably stupefied. He lewdly stared at me one more second and finally swivelled towards the rear of the joint.

ASSCRACK! I cursed the uncouth scoundrel under my breath and pissily sipped my soda when to my surprise he was walking back towards me with his eyes steadily fixed at mine. He had thick dark lashes that curled like an aeta's. With his shaven head and dark corporate suit, he looked like a walking roll-on deodorant with hands sticking on the sides. I diverted my gaze back to my book and pretended not to notice. He positioned himself at the table to my right, turned his stool towards me and stared at me for as long as I can remember.

He would tilt his head one moment after another, arms knotted in front of him, and his legs spread wide open towards me. He'd raise his camera phone, and snap away, then he'd lean forward attempting to catch my attention. Stare at me for all you want pinhead, I thought, I don't give a loud wet fart. He'd just lean forward and back, rest his chin on his hand, waiting, waiting, waiting for me to look back at him. I was gathering all my cramming-concentrated energy and continued consuming the book when he began chanting a monosyllabic word I could hardly hear.

"Sex, sex, sex, sex," the promiscuous beau whispered louder for me to hear. At first I just dismissed it and began perusing my book out loud, peevishly tracing important texts with my highlighter. Then the chant got louder and louder and I read aloud louder and louder myself until we were raising voices and finally I slammed the fucking highlighter down and gave him a dagger look that sealed his luscious mouth shut. You'd look like a nice hard fuck, yes, if only I could slice your penis and ram it into your nose.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled fidgeting his legs and walked away.

When I thought he finally disappeared from the face of the planet, he returned carrying a tray of food the same as mine--cheese burger, large fries, large coke. What the hell? He positioned himself back to where he was and resumed watching me, eating his food at the same time. I went on with my business, digesting the book like a wrecked whirring machine for the next thirty minutes or so until I felt something nudging my foot. Turning my head I found the culprit, a shiny black shoe that apparently belongs to him, reaching under my chair.

"Punyeta, ano bang kelangan mo?" I fired right to his face.

"Wala," he said coyly, his other foot stretching under my chair.

"Pwede bang lumayo ka ng konte?" I snapped whereupon the imbecile moved his chair towards me and slouched back.

"Ayoko nga," he said. The nerve!

"E di wag!" I stood up, gathered my things, and walked out.

Outside, I was heavily shuffling towards Greenwhich carrying my books and everything when something gripped my arm. Great, I thought. I turned around and found him towering over me. He must've been six feet tall.

"San ka pupunta?" he said.

"Pakielam mo!" I retorted and walked away.

"Sungit! Teka!" he screeched but I walked faster and disappeared round the corner.

Word Up

f
04.05.10 - 10:53

holyguacamoleshit! tanginang pervert yan!

i have this theory that most smartass women are very susceptible to pervtard.

lol

Word did you say?

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