I'm drunk again, over the liquor leftover over the weekend (that's three overs in a row!XD). Half a bottle of Ginebra Premium, that, which tastes like twenty percent rubbing alcohol, thirty percent Ginebra Gin, and the rest percent wotah. I don't drink Ginebra Permium but for the lack of sari-sari stores to buy excellent liquor from (Red Horse!:p), there is no other choice.

One week old Ginebra blue thingy piece of shit. Gahahahaha.XD

Humdeedumdeefuckingdum.

I've changed cigarettes.:p

I Marlboro Black Menthol. (Holyfuckingbeardedpigs, I'm using 's!X0)

Blaaaaaaaaaaah. And for some random thoughts........................... nothing.XD I can't think shit.

I am going to die next week over two reports and two papers and no time to do them all. Hikhikhik.XD

I'm still in UPM. Hindi ko alam na patapos na pala yung application!XD So might as well get if fucking over with. And.......... really, I should STOP cursing. I shall have to remove them seven magic words: cunt, fuck, shit, crap, and such variants.

I am going to be a good girl person from now on.:D

I'm in dire need of a new short story for creative writing class and I have ZERO ideas to expand and complicate and drive into a organic unifying whole towards the ending. Booooooooo.

Bleah I'm drunk.

Think of coincidence. Two years ago some random dude refrained me from taking the bus to QC before my first day of summer classes (that was April 15, 2007). I took the bus one day late and had my first schizophrenic attack for eight hours right there in the bus which led me to my first suicide attempt which led me into taking a leave of absence for a whole year which led me into working in a call center for remaining months of boredom which led me into meeting Icy which led me into meeting Mr. Wiggles which led me into now contemplating about that seemingly coincidental event when I shouldn't have listened to that random dude cos if I didn't I should've taken the bus earlier and might have dispelled that schizophrenic attack since I'd be with my folks by then which would save me from burning myself alive which would spare me one year of studying which would lead to now, me graduating from college and... everything would've been different. Mr. Wiggles would be out of my life, but it didn't.

But coincidence is an illusion. A quirk of the mind to connect random events in a seemingly grand cosmic happenstance fiddled by some cosmic imaginary being who doesn't exist in the first place.

It's just bizarre: my thoughts are becoming reality. (Whatever they are they're too personal to deeeeeeeeeeeevulge.:p)

If I were a theist I'd justify all this through God's manipulative hands.

Anyhorses, two mountaineers died from a flashflood in Anawangin this August 29, that's one week after we went there.:o That could've been me, see, me being washed away and cracking my head over some stupid rock in the process. But really, sucks to them!XD One of the four problems we have in this planet is overpopulation (along with pollution and global warming and I forget the fourth). The point being, if we can't stop overpopulation, nature will. Teeehee.XD Same with global warming: if we can't stop global warming, nature will.:D

I haven't had enough liquor to numb me down so resorting to blogging to gunshot insomnia vertical up the ass to the head.XD Ukkk. That'll be a little wormhole in there where you can enter and hike up to my brain and be electrified by random sparks of neurons kablitzing random other neurons by means of random association of random things.

A friend comments I have short attention span. I get irritated easily, distracted easily, overwhelmed easily, lose thoughts easily, and have to numb myself down by guzzling liquor. Hum. Hokaaaaaaaaaaay. Is that the same as just simply being petulant and squeamish? Just because I am sensitive and I react snappy doesn't mean I'm suffering from AADD. Funny how science has names for all mental disorders and treats them as a disease.:o What them scientists don't know is that they're prevalent and normal. Them symptoms of AADD's hyperactive-impulsive type include:

• Chooses highly active, stimulating jobs
• Avoids situations with low physical activity or sedentary work
• May choose to work long hours or two jobs
• Seeks constant activity
• Easily bored
• Impatient
• Intolerant to frustration, easily irritated
• Impulsive, snap decisions and irresponsible behaviors
• Loses temper easily, angers quickly

BUT. Holy flying gymnastic elephants. Actually I've turned this AADD side of myself into fiction (before I even knew it was AADD) about a teenager named Patrick who talks interminably without any period. The short story was all that, streams of consciousness, and it was well received by the whole class.:D

If you come to think of it, all sunrise and sunsets are unique. I've recently rekindled my fetish for cloud-pattern hunting, stargazing, twilight watching, and studying the sky in general. In Capones Island in Zambales, I saw an upside-down Jesus Christ cloud in the sky, seemingly attempting to nosedive into the sea. Curious thing, but I didn't have a camera. Sucks to meh. Kah.X0

And another thing about rains: why do they come in droplets not in spills like that of a waterfall? What if rainwater fell down like a waterfall, what'd it be like? Would planet Earth change at all? And... why does the universe exist to even accommodate life? Why is life even possible? Why is consciousness possible? Is human consciousness a mere cosmic fluke we have to deal with?

Yak, philosophy.XD A yak, I learned from Jon Krakauer's nonfiction Into Thin Air (or was it from the film Seven Years In Tibet?), is actually a long-haired wild ox that looks like a bull with permanently growing fur (like a giant animal pillow!:p). Ah, shit. Reminds me of Tibet which reminds me of Tibetan Buddhism which'll be my report next Wednesday.XP Ukkkk. I am going to DIIIEEEE.

Who gives a smacking yakshit about Tibetan Buddhism anyway? It's actually Buddhism with a splatter of Tantric Hinduism and shamanistic Bon; it's an embellished substandard form of Buddhism to put, the way Christianity is, a perverted amalgam of Paganism and Judaism.

Word did you say?

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