I am overstimulated. And I don't mean that in a sexual way, silly.XD I mean my senses--my supersonic ears, hypersensitive nose, motion-excitable sight, and easily provoked tactile perception--are overwhelmed by intense sensory input. It prolly isn't about the environment or my senses per se, but the wiring of neural synapses in my brain, triggering a snowball effect of resurrecting suppressed memories or, etching new experiences into my 50-First-Dates-esque brain cells. I just want to ESCAPE, drag myself into the ashen crater of Mount Pinatubo and meditate in complete tranquility, among the trapped aquamarine rainwater, the lowly floating celestial feather-clouds, and the lone crocodile swimming uninhibited in the wide open waters.XP

Hemingway, I cannot help but rant about Dotaboy again for I am stupidly heart-palpitating sweat-raining tension-rising hormones-imploding legs-spreading clit-superabulging nipple-hardening mentally-stupefied euphoria-inundated emotionally obsessive-destructive-possessive wild-butterflies-in-my-stomach IN LOVE.XD I have prolly felt this a couple of times before, back when I was young, carefree, and idiotic (though I still am young, carefree, and idiotic.XD But nay, I are now wise, mind you, for my final wisdom tooth is about to emerge signifying the vertex of my mental parabola. Aye, my IQ level shall henceforth plunge back to the abyss of idiocy after I get over this feeling of being smitten to the gut level of my deepest amatory desires.) but no guy has yet penetrated me mentally, emotionally, and err--okay, I admit--sexually, beyond the borders of my own expectations (that, expecting every relationship in my life as meaningless and short-lived, lasting only a couple of hours until I wake up the next day emotionally blank and mentally oblivious of the flirtatious escapade). But for some indescribable reason, I have become obsessed with every inch of Dotaboy's personality--something unique, concrete, and brutally transparent, that he sees through me just the same, or so I think.XP And the ultimate criterion that sets him apart from all the hordes of men flocking the male gene pool of my interest is that he brings out the craziest in me. I swear to God. Being with him is like being high with the nitrous oxide no laughing gas or marijuana overdose can parallel.XD He is my ecstasy tablet personified; couldn't get enough of him no matter how I overdose myself with his presence. I have no effing idea why.

The love bug has smitten me nutty. Oh shut the fuck up, Tobey. You are smart, cold-hearted, impenetrable, unreachable, and so on and so forth; visualize yourself smart, cold-hearted, impenetrable, unreachable, and so on and so forth, in every mitocondrion of your cells. But hey, I'm also HUMAN. Dotaboy flares out the HUMAN (not to mention the ANIMAL) in me. Shaks, megadrama chuvaness!XD

Ang butiking gumagapang sa dingding, bow.

Back to overstimulation.XP I miss my geekoid introverted side. The four-eyed bookworm devouring and sucking every cerebral combustion books grant me. I feel like my mental health is decaying, especially with this insomnia, sleeping only an average of two to three hours a day (not to mention the beer and caffeine swerving my consciousness in a pendulum between sleep-walking and walking asleep), rendering my brain incapable of archiving new memories. I want to quit beer and coffee altogether, sleep twelve hours a day, and be speculatively noetic with books, films, and classical music. To put, I need to unwind. By myself. Recharge my creative chutzpah for the sake of my intellectual investment fund.

I want to finish college. But school sucks patola and I am already happy with who I am and where I am today.

Word did you say?

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