Define boredom.

Fuck. I have nothing to do for the rest of the day, which sums up the next three hours whose terminus thereof I shall have to sleep in someone else's bed, that, my sister's, because. The flybrained fish-smelling housemaid is sleeping in me bed! EERRRGHHH. (And no, the housemaid's bed isn't my bed, either.) My ideal bed actually comprises of six saffron velvety cushions propped in such a way that resembles a couch.XP And.... my couch. It stinks of rivers of drools already.XP Mine, that. (I drool a lot, thank you very much.XD (Something must be wrong with my jaw. (Wait, no. I always wrestle with legions of naked libidinous men ripped right off some cheap semipornographic magazine in my dreams. (And when I mean semi I mean having a pineapple covering the censored areas.))))

And what the flying horseshit is this HUGE HIDEOUSLY MORTIFYING INFECTIOUS BUMP at the corner of me left eye?!?!?!! HOLY FUCK! I have a whatchamacallit! A KULITI!!!! Waaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! It's the end of the world!X0 (And just how am I going to bat my three-millimeter eyelashes at my resplendent knight in shining--that metal protective combative cataphract thingy, right--armor. (Heavens, where art thou my words when I needs them?)) And the KULITI.X0 UUUUGGGHH. It's so huge I can't even crack me left eye open. I look like a bloody crone with a large YELLOW boil expanding the epidermis of the eyelid revealing an opaque colony of--Eeeep!--ultramicroscopic infectious bacteria! The horrors of all horror movies!

It all began last week when I overslept on my lovely cottony and mammoth couch: my daily routine begins with the very opening of me eyes and rubbing off the crusty mucus stuck in the corners. After having done so, I blinked and felt something peculiar. I studied the living room--the television, the electric fan whirring in front of my face, the tiled floors, the eccentric ceiling (my brother-in-law poured his artistic chutzpah into it; of all places--the ceiling--the last thing any person is ever going to look at)--and thought everything was nothing beyond the ordinary until I noticed I can actually see the silhouette of the bridge of my nose. Then I figured: my left eye was stuck shut with this diabolical oversized comedone-like growth sitting atop my eyelid.

Holy. Fucking. Jesus Christ. And the little one-eyed atheist began to pray.XP

It has grown smaller though. (And just how can something grow smaller, you idiot.o_0) I would have to wait for two bleeding hours before hitting work just to reduce the size of the bloody cursed abomination.

Superstition: nanilip daw ako!XP Silip my foot! I heb birgin eyes, promise.XD

Word did you say?

« Wanted: Alien Abductionist | Flying Carbonara Monster »